The Bigfoot Song
Oh Bigfoot, oh Bigfoot, oh where have you gone?
I miss seeing your footprints all over my lawn
Oh Bigfoot, Oh Bigfoot, Oh were did you go?
Did you fly to the sky in a big U.F.O.?
They drove you from the northwest with their deforestation
They drove you out of Kansas 'cause they didn't like the implications
They drove you out of Washington, too hairy by far
They drove you out of L.A. 'cause you can't drive a car
Oh Bigfoot, Oh Bigfoot
Oh Bigfoot, Oh Bigfoot
Now the woods are perfectly safe
Oh Nessie, Oh Nessie, Oh where can you be?
Did you lock up your loch and go boch to the sea?
Oh Nessie, Oh Nessie, where are you today?
Did black helicopters come take you away?
Well they sought you out with cameras while drinkin' and fishin'
They sought you out in submarines in fancy expeditions
They sought you with a giant net the length of the lake
They sought you out with sonar but they never found a trace
Oh Nessie, Oh Nessie
Oh Nessie, Oh Nessie -
Loch Ness is perfectly safe
Now Bigfoot's revealed as a guy in a suit
That photograph of Nessie was an old floating boot
And all of the creatures I loved in my youth
Have melted away in the cold light of truth
(Almost as though they'd vanished in the Bermuda Triangle...)
Bermuda Triangle what happened to you?
The men of Flight 19 don't know what to do
Mysterious region of ships in distress
You ain't been the same since we got G.P.S.
Bermuda, Oh Bermuda
Bermuda's perfectly safe
Bermuda's perfectly safe
Bermuda's perfectly safe
Bermuda's perfectly safe!
Come to Bermuda!
(A message of the Bermuda Tourism Council)